Grand Theft Auto IV: First Impressions

Just like the rest of you knuckleheads, Team LXG has been hard at work playing the smash hit “Grand Theft Auto IV.” Well, with the exception of Paul who is still stuck in November playing Mass Effect.

If you have perused the other grand websites of gaming, you will have noticed that GTA IV has been receiving 10 out of 10 or 5 out of 5. What do I think? Here it goes….

Is this game good? Yes, it is a solid game. I have put in about four hours with the game. Therefore, if you email me with hate mail and tell

You start out as Niko Somebody, an immigrant from some Eastern Bloc country. Having survived off of a steady diet of bread and water for the past thirty odd years, Niko is ready for the Kentucky fried taste of New York City, I mean Liberty City.

The story thus far is the best part of the game. It is not nearly as bland as the last three installments of the Grand Theft series. I actually give a damn about Niko. He is one cool dude with his Cro-Magnon style look. The characters actually have character. From the potbelly cousin Roman, to Vlad Drakov, this game actually incorporates character. I like that part.

The graphics are updated. Fantastic. I am not a graphics-whore, so this really plays little in what I think.

I am sure you all have had the time to read the positive reviews. I am going to cut the crap and talk about why this game falls short of a 10 (at least in my mind).

Frustrating: It took me 30 minutes to find a freakin’ brick to throw at a window. I work for a living. I don’t have time to spend 30 minutes to look for a freakin’ brick. It would have been helpful if Rockstar could have put some type of glowing icon on what you can and cannot pick up. Don’t get me started on chasing people with the next car physics.

Same ol’, same ol’: I loved Grand Theft Auto III and Vice City. I played San Andreas for 4 hours before I traded it in. I had played the game twice before. Go to a cutscene, get a mission, go to mission (which will inevitably require you killing somebody), complete mission (sometimes after 30 minutes looking for a freaking brick), go to next cutscene, continue) GTA IV follows the same pattern. I just got bored with it, and I see myself growing wary already.

Dark: This game is freakin’ dark. I had to jack up the brightness just to see anything at night.

Unrealistic: Yeah, you all know what I am talking about. Niko has already slept with Michelle four times. The dates? Cluck N’ Bell, Cluck N’ Bell, and pool. How often would a woman give in after two dates to Cluck N. Bell for you?

Car Physics: Bleh
That’s my impression so far. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression that this is an average game, but it is not. This is a solid game. However, unlike Oblivion, Mass Effect, and Baseball Stars, after awhile I felt the desire to put the controller game.

More impressions to come kiddies. Then, and only then, will I give my final verdict.